MARRIAGE is more than a number.
Post by The Marrying Kind member - Rachel Green from Two Small Words
Google ways to celebrate your wedding anniversary and you will be overwhelmed with countless extravagant and unremarkable ways to observe another year together. Look to celebrities for inspiration and you could quickly be maxxing out the credit card, feeling generally inferior about your own personal collection of sparkly jewels or plain exhausted at the thought of renewing your vows every single year.
Here at TMK, we think any anniversary is an annual opportunity (say that three times fast) to enjoy what is a day of true accomplishment for you and your partner. You’re like “Hey! Check us out?! Still working away at this marriage gig and still genuinely happy to wake up to each other’s morning breath!”
Back in January, I chalked up 14 years with my husband. We celebrated by emptying the dishwasher together and I wrote a card after he’d fallen asleep reading to the 5 year old. It got me thinking about the reality of wedding anniversaries as the years pass and how much pressure couples can feel to be creative, observe tradition or exchange extravagant gifts.
When it comes to anniversaries, TMK’s advice is KISS – start with a smooch and then keep it simple… Whether it’s your first or fiftieth, here are a few commonsensical ideas to keep the romance alive without outdoing each other.
Pretty self-explanatory really but we’d be lying if one of us married TMKers didn’t admit to forgetting their first anniversary (and maybe the 12th too!). Take our advice – put it in your calendar on repeat and don’t rely on your MIL to send you a reminder! Remembering your anniversary on the morning of is the surest and simplest way to show your love. Trrrruuust us.
If your celebrant was of the same school as TMK, along with your wedding certificate you were probably given a copy of their witty recount of your life together, relationship highlights, hopes for the future and reasons for getting married. So on your next anniversary, after you jump into bed and before you turn on Netflix, why not re-read the ceremony script and share a laugh over the memories and consider how you’ve grown as a couple since the big day.
We don’t mean that literally (although that would be good for business!). Our couples write the most amazing personal vows to exchange during their ceremony and they are always the perfect mix of romance, humour and sentiment. BUT it’s not unreasonable to think if you had your time over again, would you make the same promises or would you want a re-do? Luckily that’s what greeting cards are for, so if you are not a wordsmith and you are stuck for something to write, start where you left off and repeat (or revise) all the beautiful promises you made to one another the first time around.
Every week, one TMKer drives past the tiny church where she got married. And no word of a lie - it’s a thrill she’ll never tire of. One glance at that little white building on the hill brings all the memories and feelings rushing back – how hot it was, who was there, how squished everyone was and all the love that spilled out of those white weatherboard walls. If time permits, make the pilgrimage back to where your wedding took place and enjoy the romance of returning to the scene of your best day ever.
For most couples, their wedding party consists of the most important people in their lives at that moment in time. And if you’re really lucky – those people are still in your life long after the wedding is over. There’s no rule saying that anniversaries have to be celebrated alone. As you’re probably discovering, life gets busy and we all need an excuse to get together with good friends and enjoy the company of our favourite people. Maybe this is the year to forego the romantic candlelit dinner for two and have brunch with the people who stood with you on that day and promised to be your official cheer squad forever and ever.
We all know the tradition of saving some wedding cake to eat on your first anniversary but chances are you might get hungry before or after you’ve been together for a full year. One TMKer will freely admit to pulling out her left over wedding cake on her tenth anniversary (just to see what shape it was in) and ended up feeding it to her kids for dinner. It was bloody delicious.
Anniversaries don’t have to be extravagant events loaded with pressure and obligation. If there is a “right way” to celebrate, we’re pretty sure it should include remembering the date, saying a heartfelt I love you and going to bed happy together. The reality is that every year together will be different and every anniversary is an opportunity to celebrate the life you have created and survived together.
That being said, according to Hallmark, the traditional gift for 15th anniversary is crystal. I have always wanted an excuse to embrace my inner gangsta and pop some ridiculously expensive champagne so I will ignore the typo and start skimming my kids’ Dollarmite accounts now…or maybe I'll just save my pennies and select a more inclusive brand of bubbly to celebrate in 2021.